"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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