He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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