I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
