I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
