More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
