Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
