hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
