Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
