I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize