Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize