If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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