Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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