Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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