My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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