i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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