you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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