Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
