she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
