My pussy is not your playground.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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