is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
