we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
