That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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