Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My dick has a subreddit
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
