we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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