I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
