but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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