I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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