Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
