Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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