I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
