I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
