I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
