I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just invented taco cereal.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
