yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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