im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
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so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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