Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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