Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
