I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
