Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
