so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
