the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
