Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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