just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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