Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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