Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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