I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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