if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize