playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
