and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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