the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
