My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
