wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
