She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize