I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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