A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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