just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
