You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
