My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
