You're completely useless in the revolution.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
