what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
