Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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