Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
