So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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