3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
