Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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