new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
