I can text with my tongue
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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